stripesdontmakeyoustraight:

stripesdontmakeyoustraight:

If you ever think you did something embarrassing just remember that I had a really hot waiter one time and i was gonna order double pepperoni pizza but I looked him dead in the eye and accidentally asked for double penetration pizza in front of my whole family

Stop reblogging my failure

dekutree:

fencehopping:

Chameleon hatching

humans are fucking pathetic look at this little nigga come out of his egg on his own no crying no helpless “wah wah cut my umbilical cord” bullshit he come out and he already on the hunt for reptilian pussy no fear no games. and we’re the evolved species? smh

ikimaru:

redrew this post from the other day pbthb

don’t punch other people’s bees Karkat, that’s rude

consultingsonic:

madblackgirl:

team 5’5 and under where ya at

they didn’t let us in they thought we were 12

belowtheprecipice:

cosmographia:

thepap64experience:

Mulan: The only Disney Princess with a body count… in the thousands

I yell this to anybody who misses in anything. 

a body count… in the thousands

tbiamaryllis:

northernmind-southernheart:

The american sex education system.

Why are you laughing at me

theactorsmind:

raeloganthemephilesfangirl:

charlottec21:

I love it how when Snape draws out his wand there are audible gasps but when Mcgonagall draws her wand there people are screaming out of the way.

They just know better.

damn snape is piss-OH MOTHERFUCKING SHIT, MOVE OUT, CLEAR THE WAY, MCGONAGALL IS PISSED.

theactorsmind:

raeloganthemephilesfangirl:

charlottec21:

I love it how when Snape draws out his wand there are audible gasps but when Mcgonagall draws her wand there people are screaming out of the way.

They just know better.

damn snape is piss-OH MOTHERFUCKING SHIT, MOVE OUT, CLEAR THE WAY, MCGONAGALL IS PISSED.

fallingfood:

Falling Fries

fallingfood:

Falling Fries

I have like a sty on my left eye and a cut on my eye lid so my eyes watering really bad aUGH
I was born with the privilege of shITTY EYE BALLS

quantumstarlight:

conflictingheart:

If you believe in yourself anything is possible.

The snail

This photoset made me so happy. You go, lil snail.